- “Evidently, someone has heard this speech before.”
- “Let me have a show of hands: How many of you read lips?”
- “This is carrying Silent Night a little far. (Holiday time)”
Feedback from the microphone:
- “If I wanted some feedback, I would have asked for it.”
- Stare cautiously to the left, while listening to the microphone buzz. Then say in a concerned tone, “Whatever it is, it’s getting closer.”
When the lights go out or flicker:
- “I’ve often had people doze off during my talk, but never an entire chandelier.” – Gene Perret
- “I do my best work in the dark.”
- “This lighting really plays tricks on your eyes. I’m actually a lot more handsome and skinnier than I look.”
- “Everyone's a critic.”
Loud noises:
- “Mom, can you be a little more careful?”
- “That concludes the musical portion of the program.”
Fire alarm or bell:
- “Time to take my pill.”
- “So that’s what happened to my wake-up call.”
Slide is upside down:
- “For those of you standing on your heads...”
- “This is the Australian part of the presentation.”
Writing on flipchart and you run out of ink:
- “Obviously, I've come to the dry part of my presentation. “
Participant walks out:
- “Look, my first walking ovation.”
- “It gets better, I promise. I walked out of my first talk.”
